Make a Lasting Impression

People tend to worry about eye contact most in situations where they’re concerned about making a good impression on someone else, like first dates and job interviews. Even someone who has a natural aptitude for using an appropriate amount of eye contact can overthink these situations and end up sending a false message by staring or avoiding the other person’s gaze altogether.

Eye contact is tricky in the early stages of dating because even though you may be incredibly interested in everything your date is saying, you don’t want to come across as being over-the-edge-of-sanity interested (having a tendency toward developing obsessions, in other words). Use normal eye contact in the beginning stages (hold the gaze for a few seconds, look away, repeat), until your date ‘s body language (he’s moving closer and closer to you, he reaches to take your hand, he’s smilling nonstop) indicates that he’s really into you.

And how about that eye contact in a job interview? The same rules apply. Steady, consistent eye contact combined with well-timed breaks can work wonders for your overall image, especially since so many other interviewees don’t know what to do with their their eyeballs in this situation. The general recommendation is that you hold eye contact for no longer than five seconds before glancing away.

Fact:
Communicating at eye level establishes an equal relationship. Standing above someone while you’re literally talking down at him puts you in a position of being superior; looking up while someone browbeats you put in an inferior position.

Does Your Body Speak The Local Lingo?

Depending on where you live, the meaning behind the “V” hand sign – raising your index and middle fingers while closing the remaining three – rests on the direction your palm faces. In the United States and Canada, the “two-fingered salute” with the palm facing outward means peace. It also indicates the quantity of two.

With the palm facing toward you, this gesture signifies contempt or disrespect in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia, South Africa, South Africa and other countries. Ordering two beverages this way at a noisy pub in England could get you in trouble with the bartender faster than you can say, “Cheerio!’

Handshakes

A handshake says so much about us: a handshake can have a lasting effect on the impression we make on others and the degree to which they find us attractive.

When you greet someone do you shake hands with confidence or doubt? There’s no need to squeeze the life out of another person’s hand in order to impress them with your status. Similarly, shaking hands so limply that it feels as if your arm is dead is not going to give anyone the idea that you’re anything but wet. Look at your hands and nails for a minute.

• What do they say about you?

•  How big are they?

• What shape are they?

• How rough or soft is the skin of your palms?

• What temperature are they?

• Are they damp, and are you aware of how this changes depending on your state of emotional arousal?

•  Are your nails clean and cut into a clear shape or are they dirty?

• Do you bite them?

Numerous experiments have been carried out by psychologists into the effects of various styles of handshake. By far the most favourable first impression made by both men and women was when the handshake lasted five seconds and was firm without being uncomfortable. Furthermore, a dry palm makes a better impression as a sweaty palm may signify nervousness. This combined with assured eye contact, a slight smile towards the middle of the handshake moving to a wider smile at the last stage of the handshake and a small tilt of the head to one side, forms the ultimate positive impression.

Research shows that people of high status tend to shake hands with their palm facing downwards. People with less concerned with power tend to offer a hand in which the thumb is on top and may have less need of domination.

 

Shaking hands with a stranger is surprisingly intimate. Actually feeling the other person, we make instant judgments about their character and status. Unconsciously we reveal our desire to dominate by placing our thumb on top. The two-handshake can be used to communicate genuine warmth and affection but it is more often perceived as being creepy and typical of politicians concerned to ‘appear’ sincere.

Political Profiling

from ‘Lip Service’ by Marianne LaFrance
 

It is said that a politician’s personality opens or closes doors but actually how a candidate’s personality is perceived holds more sway. There is, in fact, a startling consensus among voters across several countries as to what traits they want to see in their political leaders. The desired traits are extroversion and trustworthiness.

Across the ideological spectrum, these two traits trump all other, ostensibly relevant characteristics. When people think about family, friends, co-workers and celebrities, extroversion and trustworthiness are not the first traits that come to mind., but they are at the top of voters’ lists for what they want in a political leader.

How do constituents detect a candidate’s level of extroversion and trustworthiness? Despite claims by some that they can look a person in the eye and know whether that person can be trusted, the eyes themselves are not a measure of character. The muscles around the eyes are where the cues lie.

We glean impressions of people from what the social psychologist Nalini Ambady calls “thin slices,”, glimpses of their faces and brief sounds of their voices. Indeed, psychologists have a wealth of data showing that impressions about what a person is like are made extraordinarily quickly and from amazingly little information. Often enough, these impressions are dead on. In one study, research subjects were shown pictures of unfamiliar candidates for less than second and asked to hazard a guess about whether they would win the election in which they were running. Not everyone was up to the task, but a significant number were able to do so with striking accuracy.

These findings deserve a second look because of what they tell us about what the research participants were actually able to do. Subjects were not asked whom they personally would vote for after having a fleeting glance at the photograph. Rather, they were asked to consider what a majority of voters would do. The essence of their accuracy was in knowing other people’s preferences in political candidates. Faces matter hugely in our assessment of people, and many of us are on the same page about what those assessments are.

Do faces also tell us something about voters? Amazingly, yes. Citizens who lean in a liberal direction smile more on average than citizens who bend in a conservation direction. Does this mean that liberals are happier than conservatives? No, actually conservatives are happier. According to a recent survey by the Pew Research Center, 47 percent conservative Republicans in the United States described themselves as “very happy” as compared with only 28 percent of liberal Democrats.

So, why do liberals smile more than conservatives, if it is not because they’re feeling jollier than conservatives? You will recall that while spontaneous smiles reflect positive emotion, people also smile voluntarily, and those smiles reflect not inner emotion but other intentions. In short, liberals’ smiles signal a more cooperative, non-aggressive orientation. This sounds like a little like the poet Robert Frost’s definition of a liberal as a man too broad-minded to take his own side in a quarrel.

New findings also indicate that liberals are perceived differently from conservatives by those who do not know their political slant. If a person comes as warm, it is more likely that he or she is a Democrat. If a person comes across as powerful, the data show that he or she is more likely to be a Republican.

 

 ‘Lip Service’ by Marianne LaFrance