Blocking

Blocking is a strong signal, used by couples who don’t want to be interrupted, as a mean of warding off potential rivals and as a means of making it clear that they are not interested.

The aim of blocking is to use your body to establish boundaries around the two of you to create a private and safe haven, but not so close as to make the other uncomfortable. Established lovers do this obviously with their arms interlocking or with an intense mutual gaze from which the rest of the world feels excluded, and within which the lovers are oblivious, entranced by each other’s eyes.

Blocking is also a useful skill for sending ‘I m not interested’ messages without having the embarrassment of needing to spell it out in words. By building a wall with non-verbal blocks around us we can protect ourselves, comfort ourselves and warn others off; our arms, legs, shoulders and body position can all be employed as a means of saying ‘no thanks’.

'No, I'm not keen'

Baby and Toddler Body Language: All About Sleep

For a parent, it is important to be able to read the moods of your child, despite the fact he may not be able to express them verbally. By watching and remembering the telltale clues, you should be able to predict his patterns and therefore settle him more easily into a routine. Learning to tell when he is tired is extremely  important because a baby denied sleep for too long will become fussy, making all the more difficult to get him to sleep. Drooping eyelids, blinking slowly, and - often - stiff, errantic movements are classic signals of fatiguein babies. When children get slightly older; they may become irritable or overexcited. They usually rub their eyes a lot, and often exhibit clinginess.

It is almost impossible to communicate well with a tired child. Babies are much more recptive to you while alert. Choose a time of day when your child will be bright and active, and talk to him quietly and rhythmically using lots of facial expressions and sounds. He will watch and learn from everything you do and will soon try to respond.

One of the most indicative signs that your baby is tired is when she starts rubbing her eyes. Most babies will scrunch up their eyes and rub their curled fists over their eyelids when sleepy. It is a universal signal that it is time for a nap. When eye rubbing in particular? As babies get tired, the muscle in their eyes become sore, and just too much  like when an adult uses a particular muscle too much it will become tender. Rubbing relieves this discomfort. It also encourages the tear ducts to begin producing moisture as tired eyes are often hot and dry.

Whether firstborn or six months old, most children will go through a difficult phase of resisting sleep. This is a grueling time for sleep-deprieved parents as their bundle of joy forces himself to stay awake despite the late hour. Babies resist going to sleep for two main reasons: The first is that now they are in this exciting, sensory-rich world, they do not want to leave it for something as dull as sleep. The second reason is they do not want to be parted from their parents.

Babies in cultures where children ad parents sleep together are rarely upset or resist bedtime. They go to bed calmly and lulled to sleep by the rhythmic sound of a nearby adult's breathing.

Many young children become overattached to objects such as security blanket, a favorite plush toy, or a pacifier. Sometimes the attachment is so strong that the child becomes upset if parted from it, and is then unable to sleep. These objects are acting as a replacement for physical contact with parents. These "security objects" provide the child with a constant and readily available companion who is always ready to receive, and in their own way, give affection. There has been much discussion as to whether these items are good for children or should be avoided. The most important point should be the comfort of the child. If for some reason it is impossible for the parents to give as much physical contact as the baby requires, the apperance of a security object can be a welcome relief.

Tests have shown that children who have not bonded well with their mothers but who have a security blanket deal much better with stressful and anxious situations than those without a security blanket.

How Your Body Language Chooses a President

by Carol Kinsey Goman

Politicians are keenly aware that they’re judged not only by their verbal message, but also by their nonverbal communication.  Regardless of your political affiliation, the presidential debates gave us a great platform for observing what body language and speaking styles can do to create impressions. And I posted my observations after each debate.

But, while I was monitoring the debaters’ body language, researchers at The Center for Body Language (in Belgium) were using webcams to monitor the emotions of voters across the United States as they watched the debates. By analyzing the subtle facial movements (micro expressions) of viewers, they were hoping to find out how people really felt about about the candidates.

Their findings:

 

• The study shows why the election is almost a tie, with a very slight advantage for Obama and Romney on different points.

• The large majority of Independent voters turn out to be emotionally indifferent for both of the candidates; however 13% of those voters feel emotionally more connected with Obama and react with a micro expression of disgust on Romney’s sarcastic comments.

• 52% of Independent voters find Romney’s sarcastic Obama-denigrating humor funny.

• Many Democrats show a micro expression of happiness that Obama ended the Iraq war. Republicans too.

• 19% of Democrats laugh at Romney’s speeches as at a joke.

• 26% of Republicans show very strong micro expressions of anger and disgust when seeing Obama. Some of them seem literally to hate Obama. The opposite is not the case: very few Obama supporters seem to “hate” Romney.

• Surprising fact: 16% of Republicans seem to react with negative emotions when seeing Romney’s picture.

• Supporters of both candidates are engaged very seriously when their leaders are talking, while they are more easily distracted when the candidate of the opposition is speaking.

• Many Republicans react clearly with micro expressions of pleasure on Romney’s denigrating humor about Obama.

• By making his remarks about Romney’s plans in most cases more subtle and sophisticated, Obama elicits less negative emotions with both Democrats and Republicans.

Their Conclusion:

It’s an extremely close race between Obama and Romney. If Obama wins, it will be thanks to the stronger emotional connection he has with his supporters, while Romney leads by playing strongly against his opponent.

And when they replicated this study in 15 countries in Europe, Obama had almost double more positive emotional impact on people outside the USA compared to Romney. If Europeans could vote, Obama would win.

Baby and Toddler Body Language: Get A Grip

When first born, a baby will often keep his hands tightly clenched or wrapped tightly around any finger within reach. This is an instinctive response and will fade in time. As they grow, children become more in control of their movements and young infants are often fascinated with their own hands. By watching your child's hands, it is possible to read their mood. for example, a relaxed and happy child will have relaxed and open hands. Should he become upset or angry, his hands will become rigid with his fingers extended.

The grasping reflex in newborn babies is surprisingly strong. The grip can be so firm that it is possible to lift the baby in the air as they steadfastly cling to your fingers. Although it is tempting to test this particular reflex, a word of warning: As with most instinctive newborn reactions, this fades very quickly. A tightly clinging baby one day could become a falling one the next.

On The Side

If you want to appear to be really, truly listening to someone else, angling the head to the side is a move you'll want to add to your bag of body language tricks. When you employ this gesture, you appear to be lifting  an ear, as though to say, "I'm doing everything I can to take in each and every word that comes out of your mouth." It doesn't matter which way you angle your head - left or right works equally well. And keep in mind, this is just a slight angling of your noggin; you're not trying to touch one ear to your shoulder in an effort to prove that you can hear just fine out of the other one.

Although this gesture is used to emphasize listening skills, it's also employed when people are expressing sympathy. You might see someone say, "I'm so sorry" as her head tilts to the side. What's this all about? Are these people offering - nonverbally- to listen to the other person's troubles? Sort of, but in this case, the head tilt is more a way of showing that you feel for the other person's pain without making it your own.

The head tilt can also come in handy if you want to appear innocent. Let's say your husband has accused you of scratching his beloved motorcycle. You honestly had nothing to do with the damage to his bike. You're upset and feeling more than a little defensive - two emotions that could easily lead to you throwing your head back in an effort to appear rather dominant. While you're well within your rights to express your indignation, your real goal is to end the fight before it goes too far. To defuse the situation quickly, try angling your head to the side while you stick to your story. You'll appear much more innocent (which you are, after all), and this might be all it takes to convince your mate that he's got it all wrong.

Angling your head to the side is another way to play the cutesy, coy card with a member of the opposite sex. Not only does this gesture make you appear innocent and harmless, it's also a good way to show that you're a good listener.

Slightly tilting your head to the side indicates that you're absorbed in a conversation and are listening intently to the other person.

Shifting Seats

Is it possible to tell from a person's midsection that she is feeling anxious? What do you look for - a tightening of the stomach, or rhythm of a heart pounding so hard you can see the person's chest pulsating? While these are genuine ways to read high levels of anxiety, you'd have to be pretty darn close to a person to assess these types of changes. There's an easier way to tell from the torso if someone's feeling uncomfortable: Watch how she moves in her seat.

At some point, you've no doubt seen a woman receiving unwanted attention from a man in a social setting. If the woman is seated, she might appear to sink back into her seat (if the guy is in front of her), or slide her torso off to the side. What she's really doing is curving her spine away from the guy in an attempt to increase the space between herself and him.

Shifting the spine away from a person you'd rather not deal with is akin to angling (turning) yourself in the opposite direction. Both carry the same message: go away. Even if the shifter remains polite, her spine is telling you all you need to know - she hasn't been won over, and it's not likely she's going to change her mind.

Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are

 

 
Amy Cuddy wasn’t supposed to become a successful scientist. In fact, she wasn’t even supposed to finish her undergraduate degree. Early in her college career, Cuddy suffered a severe head injury in a car accident, and doctors said she would struggle to fully regain her mental capacity and finish her undergraduate degree.
But she proved them wrong. Today, Cuddy is a professor and researcher at Harvard Business School, where she studies how nonverbal behavior and snap judgments affect people from the classroom to the boardroom. And her training as a classical dancer (another skill she regained after her injury) is evident in her fascinating work on "power posing" -- how your body position influences others and even your own brain.

"Using a few simple tweaks to body language, Harvard researcher Amy Cuddy discovers ways to help people become more powerful."

TIME Game Changers, March 19, 2012