Laughing

What place does laughter have in body language? People either find something amusing and they laugh at it, or they don’t. How can you read into that, other than to say that some people have a more developed (or more immature) sense of humor than others?

A person with a great laugh is generally perceived to be a friendly sort. He’s often the hit of any gathering, simply because people love to hear his chuckle – it makes them feel good because it makes them laugh, too. Now, there’s the crux of laughter – the way it spreads. And it doesn’t spread the way a fad does – people don’t simply copy one another’s laugh attacks, they actually experience real amusement at watching someone else guffaw. Everyone’s experienced this sort of thing, and usually at the absolute worst time.

Perhaps in your fourth-grade classroom, your teacher sat down in her chair and it made a most unflattering squeaking sound. You did your best to ignore it, but then you saw your best friend trying to stifle his own laughter. Pretty soon, the two of you were watching each other trying not to laugh and finding it more difficult to keep a straight face. At this point, the laughter was as much about the laughter itself as it was about the teacher’s indignity. (If only you’d been able to articulate this to the principle).

A person doesn’t laugh often is thought of as being uptight, even if she merely happens to have a very reserved sense of humor. Just as boisterous laughter makes a person appear sociable, a complete absence of laughter can make people think you’re a humorless hermit type. If you don’t laugh much, at least learn to smile at the appropriate times – and make sure that smile appears genuine!

The moral of the story: When people want to know what’s on your mind, they’ll look to your mouth, so give your public what they’re looking for. It’s hard to mistake authentic movements of the mouth, so don’t be surprised if people are suddenly reading your communications a lot more clearly. It’s not that you’ve become a great orator – you’ve just learned to put your message where your mouth is.

All Chewed up

Does your office mate chomp on his pencils from 9 to 5? Some experts might say that he become “ stuck” in this oral phrase of life, that he never found a more mature way to soothe himself and that he continues to chew on his shirt collar, toothpicks, and chunks of paper because he needs this kind of soothing to get through his day.

Now, if you happen to be very close to someone who chews on everything in sight, you might try explaining this concept to him and suggest other ways for him to deal with stress. The problem is that an adult chewer is very set in his ways and he can't really avoid the very thing that he relies on.  His mouth is always right there, after all. If you can get a pencil chewer to switch to gum, that's an acceptable compromise. 

So no one really chews on his own gums, but lots of people chew on their own lips, tongue, and the insides of their cheeks. If you're not one of these people, you might be wondering why anyone would do such a things – doesn't it hurt? Probably not. Chewing on the mouth is usually a way to relieve stress or boredom. Most people don't bite themselves hard enough to cause any harm, though in times of extreme upset, a person might accidentally bite down harder than he intended and draw blood. 

Handy Ways to Get in Trouble

Because the hands are so highly visible and because they do so much “talking” they get a lot of attention. They might help you make some foreign friends, or they might toss you into international hot water. Consider the potential for trouble in these situations:

• You’re meeting with a Japanese client. You hand him your business card. He looks taken aback. Why?

• You walk into an English pub and order two pints. The barkeep boots you out into the street. What have you done?

• You’re vacationing in Greece, watching the women on the beach. You give one particularly beautiful lady the thumps-up sign. She grasps, grabs her boyfriend, and two of them begin marching in your direction. Do they want to make your acquaintance, or should you start running?

• In Brazil, your pedicurist wants to know if she’s done a pleasing job on your toes. You’re on your phone, so you give her the symbol to indicate, “Okay.” She bursts into tears. Was she hoping for a thumbs-up sign?

You’ve just offended four lovely people without realizing it. Your errors were:

• With the Japanese businessman, perhaps you flippantly tossed the card his way. The Japanese usually pass business cards with both hands. When they accept them, it’s also with both hands, and they treat them as though they’re a gift.

• In the pub, you made the mistake of ordering by holding up two fingers with your palm facing towards you. This is an insult, akin to flashing your middle finger, so it’s no wonder you were bounced out into the night.

• Your intended friendly gesture on the beach carried just the opposite message; thumbs-up means “Up yours!” in Greece (and in Western Africa, South America, Iran, Russia, and Sardinia).

• In Brazil (and Greece, Turkey, Italy, and Russia), the sign Americans use to mean “Okay” is actually a grave insult. Better start gushing about how your toes have never looked better, or this girl might never return to the salon.

Are all of your favourite hand signals off limits overseas? Of course not! You can walk around London and Paris all day long flashing people the thumbs-up sign. They may find you highly irritating, but no one’s likely to take great offense at your gesture.

Make a Lasting Impression

People tend to worry about eye contact most in situations where they’re concerned about making a good impression on someone else, like first dates and job interviews. Even someone who has a natural aptitude for using an appropriate amount of eye contact can overthink these situations and end up sending a false message by staring or avoiding the other person’s gaze altogether.

Eye contact is tricky in the early stages of dating because even though you may be incredibly interested in everything your date is saying, you don’t want to come across as being over-the-edge-of-sanity interested (having a tendency toward developing obsessions, in other words). Use normal eye contact in the beginning stages (hold the gaze for a few seconds, look away, repeat), until your date ‘s body language (he’s moving closer and closer to you, he reaches to take your hand, he’s smilling nonstop) indicates that he’s really into you.

And how about that eye contact in a job interview? The same rules apply. Steady, consistent eye contact combined with well-timed breaks can work wonders for your overall image, especially since so many other interviewees don’t know what to do with their their eyeballs in this situation. The general recommendation is that you hold eye contact for no longer than five seconds before glancing away.

Fact:
Communicating at eye level establishes an equal relationship. Standing above someone while you’re literally talking down at him puts you in a position of being superior; looking up while someone browbeats you put in an inferior position.

Does Your Body Speak The Local Lingo?

Depending on where you live, the meaning behind the “V” hand sign – raising your index and middle fingers while closing the remaining three – rests on the direction your palm faces. In the United States and Canada, the “two-fingered salute” with the palm facing outward means peace. It also indicates the quantity of two.

With the palm facing toward you, this gesture signifies contempt or disrespect in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia, South Africa, South Africa and other countries. Ordering two beverages this way at a noisy pub in England could get you in trouble with the bartender faster than you can say, “Cheerio!’