Learn to Look for Body Language

The scenario goes like this;

A mid polite applause, the speaker shuffled toward the platform, his face registering the look of someone being led to the guillotine. Upon arrival, he set down a pile of notes and sighed audibly. After tugging at his necktie, adjusting his eyeglasses and clearing his throat, he fixed a doleful gaze on the room’s back wall.

“It’s a great pleasure to be here today,” he said. “I have a message of extreme importance for you.”

Many people in the audience were already fidgeting. It was obvious that others were focused elsewhere. Ten seconds after it began, the speech was already over. Why?

To begin with, the speaker set himself up for failure by sending his listeners a double-edged message. What they saw contradicted what they heard, and when this happens, the audience inevitably trusts only what it sees!

Even though the speaker’s words expressed pleasure in addressing the audience, his nonverbal message said, “I don’t want to be here.” Those same words declared that his speech was important to his listeners – but his body indicated that his message wasn’t important to him. Simultaneously, his facial expression gave the appearance that he cared very little about his audience.

None of these visual messages was performed consciously; they were generated by simple nervousness and inexperience. Yet they branded this unfortunate speaker as insincere and indifferent – even though he was none of those things.

Sometimes we learn best by watching others and picking up our cues from them. If you are unsure about what types of gestures, expressions, and other body movements you would like to incorporate into your own speaking style, observing the techniques of others might be a good first step. For instance: 

Become a people watcher. The next time you are at a shopping mall, amusement park or other well-populated area, take some time to observe others. Not only is human behavior fascinating, but watching how others act and react can be invaluable for a speaker studying visual behaviors.

Watch television. Here’s the catch: the sound must be turned down! Vintage shows such as “I Love Lucy” are especially instructive when watching body signals. But even the most straightforward news broadcaster communicates nonverbally; contrast the subtleties of this type of communication with the more exaggerated style displayed in broad physical comedy.

Study photographs. Ever wonder why the saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words,” continues to be popular? Once you’ve studied old family photographs, the reason will be self-evident. Although social conventions of the time may have something to do with the way the people were posed, a great deal can be inferred from the proximity of the subjects, how – or if – they are physically connected, and the nature of their facial expressions.