Learn to Look for Body Language

The scenario goes like this;

A mid polite applause, the speaker shuffled toward the platform, his face registering the look of someone being led to the guillotine. Upon arrival, he set down a pile of notes and sighed audibly. After tugging at his necktie, adjusting his eyeglasses and clearing his throat, he fixed a doleful gaze on the room’s back wall.

“It’s a great pleasure to be here today,” he said. “I have a message of extreme importance for you.”

Many people in the audience were already fidgeting. It was obvious that others were focused elsewhere. Ten seconds after it began, the speech was already over. Why?

To begin with, the speaker set himself up for failure by sending his listeners a double-edged message. What they saw contradicted what they heard, and when this happens, the audience inevitably trusts only what it sees!

Even though the speaker’s words expressed pleasure in addressing the audience, his nonverbal message said, “I don’t want to be here.” Those same words declared that his speech was important to his listeners – but his body indicated that his message wasn’t important to him. Simultaneously, his facial expression gave the appearance that he cared very little about his audience.

None of these visual messages was performed consciously; they were generated by simple nervousness and inexperience. Yet they branded this unfortunate speaker as insincere and indifferent – even though he was none of those things.

Sometimes we learn best by watching others and picking up our cues from them. If you are unsure about what types of gestures, expressions, and other body movements you would like to incorporate into your own speaking style, observing the techniques of others might be a good first step. For instance: 

Become a people watcher. The next time you are at a shopping mall, amusement park or other well-populated area, take some time to observe others. Not only is human behavior fascinating, but watching how others act and react can be invaluable for a speaker studying visual behaviors.

Watch television. Here’s the catch: the sound must be turned down! Vintage shows such as “I Love Lucy” are especially instructive when watching body signals. But even the most straightforward news broadcaster communicates nonverbally; contrast the subtleties of this type of communication with the more exaggerated style displayed in broad physical comedy.

Study photographs. Ever wonder why the saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words,” continues to be popular? Once you’ve studied old family photographs, the reason will be self-evident. Although social conventions of the time may have something to do with the way the people were posed, a great deal can be inferred from the proximity of the subjects, how – or if – they are physically connected, and the nature of their facial expressions.

Acing The Interview: How To Score That New Job

Body Language by Telenor Mobile

How to communicate with babies and toddlers

(By pbsparents.org)

Babies don’t always understand words. But you can still communicate with your baby using tone of voice, touch and body language. 

Touch, cuddle and sing softly to your baby. These are first forms of communication. When babies cry, you can reassure them with your presence and a comforting, soothing tone. Babies respond to the emotions you’re communicating through what they see, hear and feel. They react to your sadness, tension, happiness or satisfaction.

Be aware that tone and body language make a difference. When babies hear ‘Stop!’ they’ll sometimes cry. This is because they’re reacting to the sharpness and volume of your command. In the same way, a soft, loving ‘good night’ when you’re tucking your baby into bed will comfort your child because of the soothing tone.

Stay physically connected. This is another way to communicate. Babies like being close to their parents. Holding them next to your body communicates reassurance and comfort. A carrier or sling also allows you to move around and carry on with your life.

Don’t be surprised if your baby cries when you’re on the phone. A baby knows when you’re not paying attention. Baby also knows how to get that attention back. Wailing can come at inconvenient times, but being aware of what’s causing your baby’s reactions might help you stay patient and deal with your baby in the moment.

Turn baby talk into a two-way conversation. Invite responses from your baby. Singing and chanting nursery rhymes are good ways to play with sound. They invite your baby to make a pleasing stream of sounds that eventually lead to talking.

Extend sounds and words to help children develop language skills. If your toddler says ‘Go home’, you might extend this thought by saying, ‘You want to go home. We can leave in a few minutes’.

Even if you’re not sure how much your child understands, talk anyway! Just like holding and kissing, words are an important way of staying in contact with your baby. They’ll help your baby begin to attach feelings and thoughts to sounds.

Play a sound game 

Babies learn to communicate not only through the words you say, but by what you do, how you hold and touch them and respond to their needs. If you hear your baby make a sound like ‘Oh’ you might echo and extend it with an ‘Oh, ah, oh’. Soon you will be having a back-and-forth game of sound.
– Gillian McNamee, PhD, Director of Teacher Education, Erikson Institute

Baby and Toddler Body Language

For decades, experts have studies the importance of nonverbal communication in adults. The idea that the body has its own innate language has become so accepted in our society that magazines and newspapers regularly print articles on how to read and interpret those hidden signals we all sent out.

It is universally acknowledged that adults use body languages, both consciously and unconsciously. Studies have shown that up to 60 % of all human interaction is based not on speech but on the subtle movement, gestures, and responses of our bodies. This includes the tiniest reactions, such as the dilation of pupils or a slightly increased rate of breathing, to the more obvious signals like smiling, frowning, and establishing personal space.

Surprisingly, babies are experts on the use and understanding of body language, as they have no other means of communication. Until they learn to talk, children are completely dependent on body languages, and even after they have mastered speaking, their actions still play a massive role in their communication skills. They may not have the words to express themselves, but they always manage to get their points across. Whether summoning attentions through tears or smiles a baby can always make its wants and needs known.

For parents with new babies whether their first child or fourth – life would be much less frustrating if they could understand exactly what their infant is trying to express indeed, a child's cries can become a major source of concern. Although we try our best to comfort small children, sometimes there is just no knowing what a child is trying to tell us and we are left to fun through a checklist of possibilities: is she uncomfortable? Hungry? Tired? Scared? This is when understanding and interpreting your baby's body language can become extremely helpful.

From newborns to toddlers, children use a wide variety of gestures and actions to communicate with adults around them. Indeed, without them, caring for a child would be extremely difficult. As parents many of our responses are completely instinctive, though often correct.

Few mothers can stand still for long once they hear the distinctive cry of distress from their own child. Any parent would find it difficult not to smile back at a young baby when he or she smiles at you. From the moment it enters the world, everything a baby does helps to ensure he or she is looked after and protected by his or her parents. There are powerful biological, hormonal and physical imperatives all urging us on to cherish and care for the small, helpless child in front of us. It is our duty as parents and caregivers to provide a loving, nurturing home to give our children a sense of self-worth and confidence and also to show them the importance of understanding. We expect them to listen to what we say and to do this we show them how gratifying it is when they are listened to and understood.

By learning to interpret your child's body language, you will better understand their motivations and thought processes, and instil in them the idea that you empathise and understand them. Few things are more important to a child.

Studying your baby's body language will not only help you to better know your child, but will help you appreciate how your own actions can encourage or possibly hinder your child's development. For example, when feeding a child solid food for the first time, most people will unconsciously open and close their mouths, make “ num-num” noises and demonstrate the action of swallowing. All these simple gestures teach children more than just actions; they also teach the appropriate reactions.

Children who are taught to understand learn from and respond to the body language of others will become more confident and easy going adults. We learn our social skills from the examples set by others, usually our parents. With this in mind, you should remember to pay close attention to your own body language. Babies learn quickly, and unfortunately, they pick up both good and bad habits. If you can provide a good role model for your child by using positive body language, it will help your child to develop into self-assured and confident adult. A baby not only discovers how to use his or her own body language to interact with the people around him or her, but quickly learns to interpret the gestures of others.

As babies quickly grow into toddlers, they learn to combine their body language with their rudimentary language skills, and should they glean any negative habits from you, these will soon become apparent. Toddlers love to impersonate the behaviour of those closet to them; it is how they learn to be adults, and should any of your less admirable practices come back to haunt you, you have only yourself to blame.

Raising a child is a wonderful, exciting, testing, tiring and joyful pursuit. There are few times in your life that will cause you to laugh quite so often or enjoy life quite so much. By studying the nonverbal communications of your infant, you will not be able to read minds. However, it will give you a better understanding of how your child really feels, and what these actions mean. Anything that helps you to feel closer to and empathise with your child is well worth exploring.

Facial Expressions Are Universal

Humans have evolved certain facial expressions that are so universal that all but the least perspective individuals can recognise them.' This is quoted from a book 'The Body Language Handbook: How To Read Everyone's Hidden Thoughts And Intentions' written by Gregory Hartley and Maryann Karinch. In the book, it mentioned that each universal expression has degrees and the differences characteristics combine with slightly different mental states to cause variations.

This is why certain expressions fall into the category of “universal” is based on research with diverse populations. The most well-known researches were conducted by Paul Ekman of the Human Interaction Laboratory at University of California's School of Medicine supported the observation that certain facial expressions are universal. The common expressions included in his work “Facial Expressions and Emotion: An Controversy and New Findings” are disgust, sadness, fear, anger, surprise and enjoyment (or happiness). Later, he added in contempt, pride, uncertainty and embarrassment. People try to mask them, but they still come out. As humans, we have a natural ability to interpret that base body language. Whether the constrained body language is a personal choice or cultural is a tough call by looking at one person. Biology and bone structure often play as big part as culture.

Bodies adapt to what we do. A long-distance runner who decides to take up weight training and become a competitive bodybuilder has to make adjustments in the way muscles are used – to recondition them the way you would tune a piano. When the wires become accustomed to holding one shape, the piano tuner has a big job: He has to come back repeatedly to condition the wires to stay in tune. The same thing happens with your face. Muscle memory kicks in and dictates how you use it, and shows all the world how you have used it in the past.

Of all the facial expression listed – disgust, sadness, fear, anger, surprise, happiness, contempt and pride – can you recall any of them?

Try look at these photos. What do you see in common?

All three of the photos have a clear, external focus, raised chin and set mouth that suggests pride. A look of pride can be associated with both positive and negative situations, but the emotion is the same. When a police officer confronts a gang member in front of his buddies, the gang member will stand indignantly, raise his head, and flash pride. It maybe just be the pride of “I got your attention.” But in the photo on the right, the kid is showing pride after doing something his parents are proud of. Both are pride rooted in accomplishment and acknowledgement.

Even someone who knows you well and feels comfortable with you will occasionally show some of the same signs of uncertainty that a stranger, or someone unfamiliar with your culture, will show. You can surprise him or her with a request or ask for her opinion on a topic that causes anxiety.

For example, you were asked to participate in a lucky draw contest by an unknown event representative while walking in the shopping mall. Obviously, you would have no idea of what the contest was all about. You would most likely to give a look of uncertainty. While she explained the process to you, you could probably be interpreting what she said and trying to organise the information so that you could be ready to participate.

With some emotions, you don't even need the whole face. The eyes say it all. It's all part of why for generations we have been quoting the proverb “the eyes are the windows to the soul.”

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Get Started To Learn About Body Language

It would be helpful if we can spare at least 10 minutes a day and learn to pick up some gestures of other people, also developing a conscious awareness of our own gestures. A good place to start with could be somewhere that has plenty of human interactions taking place, for example at the airport. Such a place could allow us to observe many different types of gesture from the people around, expressing their happiness, sadness, eagerness, anger and other emotional reactions.


Another best way to learn non-verbal communication would be nothing simpler than watching TV. We can start with an easy practice by muting the sound of the TV show and try to understand what is happening from the initial watching. Then we can turn the sound up every 5 minutes to check how accurate we can get from the reading. Gradually, we can watch the entire TV show on mute and yet understand what is happening, just like watching a mime show.

Just like watching a mime show!

  

Jesse McCartney - Body Language - featuring T-Pain

I just browsed through youtube and found this MV. Well, I think it's kind of related to this blog. Hope you enjoy it.

Body Language

We may not have noticed that in our daily face-to-face conversations, the words we speak is only constitute for less than 10% of the message we are conveying, the rest would be coming from our body language (non-verbal behaviour) and paralinguistic cues. According to Albert Mehrabian, a researcher in the 60s, the more precise of the composition of the information we picked up from a conversation would be 7% from the word itself, 38 % from tone, inflection and the speed of voice, lastly 55% from the body language, or more scientifically known as non-verbal signals.

Body language is important when we are interacting with people everyday. Our body let out messages constantly and usually we don't recognise that we are communicating a lot more than we realise. If we are feeling happy it can easily show in how we 'compute' on our body languages. When we talk, if we look at someone else’s body we can often tell how they are feeling by the signals their body is giving. Say if your words say one thing but your body says another, your counterpart is more likely to believe the message your body is sending out to be more reliable. It is useful to be able to read people’s body language, but it is equally useful to learn how to get our body to send the right signals and minimise the wrong signals. In this blog, we will explore more on how to start using body language to improve daily communications and to improve the quality of life.

'If the eyes are the windows of the soul, then the body is the mirror of our feelings.'

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