When Feet Shift Direction, Particularly Toward or Away from a Person or Object (by Joe Navarro)

We tend to turn toward things we like or are agreeable to us, and that includes individuals with whom we are interacting. In fact, we can use this information to determine whether others are happy to see us or would prefer that we leave them alone. Assume you are approaching two people engaged in a conversation. These are individuals you have met before, and you want to join in the discussion, so you walk up to them and say “hi.” The problem is that you’re not sure if they really want your company. Is there a way to find out? Yes. Watch their feet and torso behavior. If they move their feet - along with their torsos - to admit you, then the welcome is full and genuine. However, if they don’t move their feet to welcome you but, instead, only swivel at the hips to say hello, then they’d rather be left alone.

We tend to turn away from things that we don’t like or that are disagreeable to us. Studies of courtroom behavior reveal that when jurors don’t like a witness, they turn their feet toward the nearest exit. From the waist up, the jurors politely face the witness who is speaking, but will turn their feet toward the natural “escape route”- such as the door leading to the hallway or the jury room.

What is true for jurors in a courtroom is also true for person-to-person interactions in general. From the hips up, we will face the person with whom we are talking. But if we are displeased with the conversation, our feet will shift away, toward the nearest exit. When a person turns his feet away, it is normally a sign of disengagement, a desire to distance himself from where he is currently positioned. When you are talking with someone and you note that he gradually or suddenly shifts his feet away from you, this is information you need to process. Why did the behavior take place? Sometimes it is a signal that the person is late for an appointment and really has to go; other times it is a sign that the person no longer wants to be around you. Perhaps you have said something offensive or done something annoying. The shifting foot behavior is a sign that the person wants to depart. However, now it is up to you - based on the circumstances surrounding the behavior - to determine why the individual is anxious to go.

 I think the guy on the left is in a rush!

Books by Joe Navarro 

Want to Send a Strong Rapport-Building Message with Proxemics?

With you walk near someone else's space, pause and stay out of it. Initiate your conversation and then about 30 seconds into the conversation, open your palm to their chair in front of you.

“May I?”

You've now been authorised into their space.

Typically, the person doesn't feel comfortable at this point.

Stay with your back in the chair.

Talk about something that does not require the privacy of a really soft spoken voice.

Then when you are going to communicate something that is of greater concern, lean forward a bit in the chair.

This will show respect, appreciation, and liking for your counterpart.

 Books about gestures in business communications

  

Interpreting and Misinterpreting by Allan Pease

The ability to accurately interpret hand-to-face gestures in a given set of circumstances takes considerable time and observation to acquire. We can confidently assume that, when a person uses one of the hand-to-face gestures just mentioned, a negative thought has entered his mind. The question is, what is the negative? It could be doubt, deceit, uncertainty, exaggeration, apprehension or outright lying. The real skill of interpretation is the ability to pick which of the negatives mentioned is the correct one. This can best be done by an analysis of the gestures preceding the hand-to-face gesture and interpreting it in context.

For example, a friend of mine with whom I play chess often rubs his ear or touches his nose during the game, but only when he is unsure of his next move. Recently I noticed some of his other gestures that I can interpret and use to my advantage. I have discovered that when I signal my intention to move a chess piece by touching it, he immediately uses gesture clusters that signal what he thinks about my proposed move. If he sits back in the chair and uses a steepling gesture (confidence), I can assume that he has anticipated my move and may already have thought of a counter move. If, as I touch my chess piece, he covers his mouth or rubs his nose or ear, it means that he is uncertain about my move, his next move or both. This means that the more moves I can make after he has reacted with a negative hand-to-face gesture, the greater my chances of winning.

I recently interviewed a young man who had arrived from overseas for a position in our company. Throughout the interview he kept his arms and legs crossed, used critical evaluation clusters, had very little palm exposure and his gaze met mine less than one-third of the time. Something was obviously worrying him, but at that point in the interview I did not have sufficient information for an accurate assessment of his negative gestures. I asked him some questions about his previous employers in his native country. His answers were accompanied by a series of eye-rubbing and nose-touching gestures and he continued to avoid my gaze. This continued throughout the rest of the interview and eventually I decided not to hire him, based on what is commonly called ‘gut feeling’. Being curious about his deceit gestures, I decided to check his overseas referees and discovered that he had given me false information about his past. He probably assumed that a potential employer in another country would not bother to check overseas references and, had I not been aware of non-verbal cues and signals, I might well have made the mistake of hiring him.

During a role play of an interview scene at a management seminar, the interviewee suddenly covered his mouth and rubbed his nose after he had been asked a question by the interviewer. Up to that point in the role-play, the interviewee had kept an open posture with open coat, palms visible and leaning forward when answering questions, so at first we thought it might have been an isolated series of gestures. He displayed the mouth guard gesture for several seconds before giving his answer, then returned to his open pose. We questioned him about the hand-to-mouth gesture at the end of the role play and he said that, when he had been asked the particular question, he could have responded in two ways; one negative, one positive. As he thought about the negative answer and of how the interviewer might react to it, the mouth guard gesture occurred. When he thought of the positive answer, however, his hand dropped away from his mouth and he resumed his open posture. His uncertainty about the audience’s possible reaction to the negative reply had caused the sudden mouth guard gesture to occur.

These examples illustrate how easy it can be to misinterpret a hand-to-face gesture and to jump to wrong conclusions. It is only by constant study and observation of these gestures and by having regard to the context in which they occur that one can eventually learn to reach an accurate assessment of someone’s thoughts.



Other books by Allan Pease

        

Interesting Facts: Touch, Power and Non-verbals in the Office

Sexual harassment is a controversial issue 25 years after the institution of policies both ambiguous and rigid.

According to a recently published survey, women interpret sexual harassment in terms of power. They tend to feel that every male at the office is a candidate for sexual harassment.

Men, however, believe that sexual harassment can only come from a superior (supervisor or manager).

The research indicates that women are less likely to experience touch from men as harassing if the man is attractive. And, if the man is very attractive, the touch is even less likely to be experienced as harassing.

For his fortunate friends who are not so attractive, touching women can land them on the unemployment line. Women typically perceive touch from unattractive men as harassing.

In sum, women and men have very different views and behaviours related to sexual harassment, and , because of the distinctions, it appears that problem isn't going away.

Some other titles related to body language at wrokplace


     

Element of Body language: Face

We have pretty much known about facial expressions are universal, from the post 'Facial Expressions Are Universal'. Therefore, face is one of key elements of body language commonly shared by you, me and everyone else. The following article is written by Kevin Hogan explaining some of the features and applications displayed by your face.

***

Many experts consider facial expressions the most important non-verbal behaviour of all. Your face is the focal point of conversation and interaction, so the impact of its movements and expressions is magnified. The face is a tool for communicating emotions and feelings, but it is important for regulating and regulating and directing an interaction.

Let's say you are interacting with another person is already talking, your facial expression will change to indicate you want a turn. Your eyebrows rise slightly and your mouth opens as if you are about to speak. Smiling is a facial expression used when listening to someone else as a way of encouraging them, acknowledging what they are saying, and signalling you are interested in what they are saying.

Facial expressions can communicate nearly any emotion you want, the most common being happiness, fear, disgust, anger, sadness and surprise. They are typically appear as follows:

• Happiness – Lips pull back and up at the corners; cheeks raise up; so called crow's feet wrinkles become noticeable on the outside of the eyes.

• Fear – Mouth opens slightly; lips are tense; eyebrows rise up and together; forehead wrinkles in the centre; upper eyelid rises up.

• Disgust – Nose wrinkles up; cheeks raise up; eyebrows lower; upper lip rises up; lower lip may be raised up against the upper lip or lowered slightly and pushed out.

• Anger – Eyes stare with contracted pupils, perhaps seeming to bulge out; eyebrows lower, coming together and creating wrinkles between them; lips may be tense and pressed together or tense and open.

• Sadness – Lips draw down in the corners, perhaps trembling; eyebrows rise up slightly; upper eyelid rises up in the inner corner.

• Surprise – Eyelids open wide; eyebrows arch up; wrinkles appear across entire forehead; jaw drops and mouth opens.

Your face is a useful flirtion device. (It's like a floatation device on an airplane... okay, maybe not.)

A smile, a wink, and raised eyebrows in the right social situation can attract another person's attention and communicate interest. Once a conversation is started, these same facial expressions help to encourage further interest and interaction. The power of facial expressions for attracting and engaging someone else is so big that it can become a misused tool for manipulating or otherwise influencing another person.

There are cultural differences in how facial body language is interpreted as well. For instance, Americans tend to read more emotion into the face than do Japanese. Americans put their focus on the mouth when trying to understand what someone is saying. The Japanese put their attention on the eyes.

People from the same culture are more accurate in reading each other's 'facial expressions, a finding you would expect, of course.

Facial expression can be either deliberate or spontaneous depending on the person and the situation. Children tend to show their facial expressions spontaneously, with little or no deliberate control. Adults, on the other hand, have learned through the years to mask or control certain facial expressions in certain situations where they are considered inappropriate or unwise.

Can you identify the facial expressions in the picture below? 

 

Answers

Top Left: Anger
Top Right: Fear
Middle Left: Digust
Middle Right: Surprise
Bottom Left: Happiness
Bottom Right: Sadness

Other books by Kevin Hogan

     

Hand Gestures

From previous posts, we know that gestures can be vary across different cultures. If you think you can read people's gestures in a country different than yours. Well, think again!

Here is a short video with subtitles demonstrating various hand gestures, many with multiple meanings.

Titles related to hand gestures

     

A Little Tip: Want People to Feel as if You are Both on the Same Wavelength

Allow yourself to become infected by their emotional output.

In other words, if you see them excited because the home team scored a goal, make sure you get up in that excitement as well, make sure they see that.

If your counterpart is angry, allow your face to come close to matching his emotional intensity.

These kind of near matches really build empathy and liking between two people or groups of people.

However, don't match the exact level of excitement or anger. This can often backfire as being seen as  dramatic not genuine and overall bad idea.

Books about anger management